A Second Chance to be Happy in Love by Guest Blogger Kelley Chappell

My colleague and friend, Dr. Kelley Chappell, is my guest on Tuesday, January 10, 2012 at my Healthy Baby Boomers Network Blog Talk Radio Show.  If you miss the live interview it will be arvhived so you can catch it later.  Dr. Chappell will share with us many of her insights and knowledge from years of research on the topic of love and relationships.

Love ? I love love love you.

Image by @Doug88888 via Flickr



Most women want to be happy in love but many just don’t know how, they don’t know how to meet someone and they don’t know how to keep the passion alive.

A Second Chance to be Happy in Love by Kelley Chappell, Ph.D.

“Many Baby Boomer women are single and getting a second chance at love. When we were young, most of us didn’t really spend much time “choosing” our life partner.  We just met someone we were attracted to and got involved in a relationship. Now, if you find yourself single again, you have a second chance to select a partner who is truly a good fit for you!

The Law of Attraction says that “Like Attracts Like”. Your own thoughts, feelings and actions create your relationship reality. This article shows women how to use the “Law of Attraction” to attract a partner that would be truly right for you!

Step 1: Develop Your Love Mindset

The first step to attracting a partner who would be right for you is to develop a “Love Mindset”. You have to believe in love, believe you are worthy of love and believe you deserve to be Happy in Love. The type of men you will attract when you are feeling low and negative are not the type men you will attract when you are feeling good about yourself. Do what it takes to feel good about yourself and to adopt positive beliefs about love and relationships.

Step # 2: Make a Relationship Intention List

Get completely clear about the kind of relationship that you want. Make a detailed list of all the qualities you want in a partner.  Get very specific about how you and your partner will “fit” together.  Don’t leave anything out. It is not about finding a man with “a sense of humor” it is about finding a man who shares your sense of humor. It is about how the two of you will fit together. Describe how the two of you will interact with each other and how the relationship will feel. You have got to be completely clear about what you want. If you want to get married and have children say this. If you want a partner who is free from major family responsibilities and wants to create a fresh new life with you, say so.

Here are some examples of specific items.

I am attracting a man who is a perfect “Fit” for me.
My perfect man is a man that wants love, connection and a positive, loving, exclusive, committed relationship with me.
My perfect man and I both have a positive, optimistic outlook on life.
We both feel that incredible chemistry for each other and maintain this with physical connection and physical affection.
We share a deep emotional bond. The connection is incredible. We are both willing to share our very real selves with each other.
We are compatible in every way. We have similarities, we get along well and we understand each other. We enjoy the same lifestyle and we love doing the same kinds of activities together.
My perfect man loves me with all of his heart and I feel the same way about him.

See how this is different from listing 10 vague qualities? Get real with yourself and ask for what you really want because you are going to get exactly what you expect to receive.

Step 3:  Generate the Feelings of Having this Relationship Now

Use affirmations, visualizations and journaling techniques to help “catch the feeling” of what it would be like to have this relationship right now.  Every day, take the time to visualize your life with your perfect partner. Read over your Relationship Intention List and really “feel” the feelings of being in this relationship. Create a vision board by cutting out words and images from magazines that depict the relationship you want and pasting them on a poster board.  Every day, take the time to look at the images and really get yourself into the state of feeling the feelings of having this relationship and living this life right now. Do whatever it takes to generate the feelings of having this relationship now!

Step # 4: Take Action

Your next step is to align your thoughts, feelings and actions to create what you want in your life. Don’t sit inside your house staring at your vision board, waiting for Prince Charming to come knock on your door. Take powerful actions to demonstrate what you expect to receive. Plan for Success. You are expecting to meet the love of your life, get prepared! Clean up your house, have your hair done, buy a great outfit to wear on a special date and get out and meet people. It is like the famous quote from the Kevin Costner movie, Field of Dreams,” If you build it they will come”. If you prepare for the right man to be in your life, he will arrive.

Step 5: Remember, the Law of Attraction is Always in Action

The Law of Attraction is always in action in every single moment of your life. So be intentional and get clear about the type of man you want to attract. Whatever you are thinking and feeling is creating your own experience in a relationship. If you feel unloved and unattractive you will attract people and situations that make you feel more unloved and unattractive. If you love yourself and you feel good about yourself, you will attract a man who loves you and treats you well.”

Dr. Kelley Chappell is an award winning Professor of Psychology, an international speaker, and a dating and relationship coach for women. Her mission is to inspire and empower women to love themselves, love their lives and be happy in love. She has a new book, Happy in Love: A Woman’s Step by Step Guide to Love, Attraction, Dating and Relationships that will be released January 17. She is the founder of The Happy in Love Club and the creator of the Monthly Relationship Audio Series. You can find the book, free articles and invitations to free Teleseminars on How to be Happy in Love at www.HappyInLove.com

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1 Carolyn Blake { 01.12.12 at 10:17 am }

I think the Law Of Attraction has been the missing piece of the puzzle those many years back when I and most of my friends were asking…”How come I always end up with the same guy?” I have been flying solo now for quite awhile and I am only barely ready to consider letting another relationship happen. And things would have to be VERY different! This article about a second go round is very good food for thought. Thanks
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2 Dr. Erica Goodstone { 01.13.12 at 3:41 am }

@ Carolyn Blake :
Carolyn, Things have to be different “inside” first. It is essential to know yourself, trust your own values and needs, and to listen to that inner voice that tells you what feels right or wrong about any situation or interaction. There really are many good men out there for those with discernment and trust.


Dr. Erica